I didn't know I wanted, say, Driver: San Francisco until I had it, and then I wanted the shit out of it, but if you'd asked me beforehand for money to make a driving game that played like Miami Vice got Quantum Leap stuck up its bum, I'd have told you to stick a few other things up its bum. My problem with Kickstarter is that no-one knows what they want until they've got it. Hey, Broken Age is a game about the life of a brine shrimp swimming up a stream of piss! It isn't really! But you don't care, do you? You've already bought it! So we have a game that was successful before it was even fucking released! Before anyone even knew if it was good! Tim Schafer could've released a fucking escape-the-room flash game and it would've made the money! He could've released Space Quest IV, or Leather Goddesses of Phobos 2, or a pile of owl droppings on the end of a length of rope and made the money back! And as a critic, that's worrying, but at the same time slightly liberating, to know that nothing I say about Broken Age matters widdly-wong. Using my best swears to critically pan games like Call of Duty: Ghosts is like flinging perfectly good cake rolls at a brick wall you can pan that shit like a Colorado river, but it's gonna make its money back anyway! And while that was frustrating enough, Kickstarter has allowed Double Fine to take things to a whole new sodding level! Tim Schafer said, "I'd quite like to get back to my roots and make adventure games like Grim Fandango and Day of the Tentacle", and then everyone said, "Good idea, here's $3.5m!".
This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Broken Age.
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